Sigh.I don't know how. Sometimes it's hard to live a contented life.It's always about wanting more than what I have. The first quote from the previous post should remind me about something.Sigh. Yes, I've been sighing a lot lately.

They said...

If you cannot get what you like,
why not try to like what you get?

Every man should keep a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.

There is nothing progressive about being pig headed
and refusing to admit a mistake.

The blast of temptation struck down the leaves,
but the root stood fast

I like surprises.Good ones.Not bad ones. :-|

Finally I'm finished!...well, not quite actually.Sigh.
...

Reading the book 'Daddy-Long'Legs' by Jean Webster was so refreshing like fresh air. It's something different from the usual books that I read. I'm the person that likes to read letters(but not write one..hehe) and this book is just perfect because the whole book is on the letters of Judy Abbot to Daddy-Long-Legs. And the feeling of finding out at the at end of the story that Daddy-Long-Legs is actually Master Jervie is so...nice...!

"It isn't the big troubles in life that require character. Anybody can rise to a crisis and face a crushing tragedy with courage, but to meet the petty hazards of the day with laugh--I really think that requires spirit."

"It's the kind of character that I'm going to develop. I am going to pretend that all life is just a game which I must play skillfully and fairly as I can. If I lose, I am going to shrug my shoulders and laugh-alsi if I win."

...

My hati still feels one kind.Sigh.

Aiyohhhhhhh!

Hati saya rasa lain macam :-/

amessypost....

I realised I don't blog the way I did many, many years ago. Last time I could I type a lot of words here because I knew not many(bordering to nil) people would read it but now I've become so conscious because so many people(well, not so many, but I know it's always more than nil..hehe)reads it including The-Brother-In-Law!...hehehe....

Today was my first time handling the Orang Asli Ministry, since Mum has already gone to Australia. Whoa, it was not easy I would say and now I have greater respect for my mum(hehe..) because she's the one who does most of the job by herself. She always tells me to have faith in God, always. And always rely in His strength and power because we can never do it by ourselves. And now I can see how she's able to do it every week without fail and she's already 62 years old.

It was a bit tough for me because I had to speak in Malay and my Malay is so rusty and broken. Oh dear, have to start polishing it....It was nice to see the smile on those little children and the naive look on some of their faces. I just hope and pray that these kids would commit their lives to the Lord and know that He is their Lord too.

The past week...

• Few things were troubling me because I decided to finish up doing some CF stuff, and I've not done so. My brain was blank and I couldn't think. There's so much to think about, so much to plan but at times I felt a bit lost. I don't have much time....
• I think I've gotten attached to Baby Enoch..hehe...he's so cute especially when he smiles and chuckles as if he understands what we're saying to him. And now he doesn't mind me carrying him! Oh, and it's so satisfying putting him to sleep...
• My goodness, yesterday I put Debbie's napkin terbalik..as in the back was front and the front was back.Oops! And she slept all the way through like that until her daddy noticed it. Oops! So much of me being her good aunty and babysitter..hehe
• Has been crazy-my thoughts about the future...sigh...

Now I'm off to Klang Jaya Gospel Hall Family Dinner with my dad. Who will I meet? Who will I talk to?

Paul:
And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and in all discernment,
that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and wothout offense till the day of Christ.

O Lord, I pray that I make right decisions that are good.

To work! To work!

Got loads to do.

Got so much to think about.

Come on you!

Get up from this chair and start working!

Will be babysitting for another 3 more weeks but at the same time I've got to do a lot of CF stuff.

Oh dear.....I think I'm at lost at the moment.

O Lord, help me organize my thoughts and make them into action!

Many sighs....

So many things on my head at the moment. This thing. That thing. The other thing. And yes, that thing too. Not to forget a certain thing bugging me also. Oh, and I've to finish doing some things soon. So many things.

Tired. Tired. I like babysitting my nephew and neice. Maybe I'm not used to it. But I'm comforted by the little joys I get everyday.

I'm really not in the mood to arrange my timetable for the next semester. No mood at all.

Mum's going to Australia for 2 months. My goodness.

Tomorrow have to go help my mum in the Orang Asli Ministry. I've to take over while she's gone. I've to go every Saturday. It will be my first time.

I'm praying for my God to set my heart right and straight in certain things. I've strayed a little.

"Do you trust me?", my Lord asks me...

"You still got no boyfriend ah?", a certain church aunty always asks me this question...and today her voice was so clear in my head. Donkey lar.....

Yes, my mind is very berserabut now. I'm going to sleep.....

This picture makes me laugh especially when I see Joshua's hands on Yew Kong's head.

Camp Cameron 2007

To that someone who asked me why I never update my blog, nah, here is a brand new post for you! And I'll be seeing you tomorrow. Apa-lah you... :-)

So I'll be talking about Camp Cameron 2007. It's been more than one week since I came back for Camerons. Ah, I miss that place so much. Oh how I wish my house is up there in the highlands. I still suffer from a minor degree of post camp sickness. I'd be thinking of what we were doing at this time during camp and I'd end up feeling a little bit blue.

• I miss the lame jokes and laughters of my family members. My Grandpa Joshua always made us laugh a lot with his lame and sometimes not-so-lame jokes.hehe...
• I miss both my Grandmas, although I'll be seeing Grandma Kim Cheng quite often :-)
• I miss my Papa Chee Khoon who always begins his sentence by saying the phrase 'they say ah..'.We would wonder who are 'they'?
• I miss the fried rice cooked by my family members using the leftover food. Fried rice will never taste the same again.
• I miss expressions on Sundays where my chalet 8 gals and I would go and watch movie.
• I miss my room-mates:Eveline, Lee Na and Yue Min. I miss the 'romantic light' Eveline always switches on before all of us sleep.hehe...
• I miss teasing Aunty Nhãn and I miss her cheekiness that always made me laugh. I miss the conversations we had about our lives, our culture, and the struggles we face in both our countries.
• I miss all the sessions we had during camp. I especially miss the Wordilicious Investigators on Philemon and Jude. The study on these 2 books reminded me on so many things. Bible Study has become more interesting to me now.
• I miss the nature walk! This is my first time enjoying hiking after many previous hikings.No pressure at all!
• I miss killing the flies! Oh, I'm an expert in it I must say. Killing flies is so satisfying and it's quite therapeutic you know. You should try it also!hehe..
• I miss the quietness and serenity of Cameron Highlands.
• I miss sitting on the steps of my chalet, looking at the hill in front of me and reflecting on so many things

So many things that I miss....

Yes, there is a time for everything. A time to experience the present moment and a time to remember the past. I've gained a lot from Camp Cam. It was a time for me to look at certain issues in my life and to come face to face with the hidden truths that I've taken for-granted for a long time. It's good that I deal with these issues, the sooner the better. Life's not easy for me. It may seem to be otherwise, but the truth is I struggle a lot. And these struggles are with people around me and this eventually lead to the struggles I face with myself as a person.

I was quite scared on the last day of camp. Yes, coming face to face with the issues of my life is not as hard compared to coming face to face with reality. Coming back home means that I need to do the things that I've committed to do once I leave camp-improving relationships, especially with my parents. It's not easy yet I thank the Lord for giving me courage to take the first step(during camp). And I pray that the many steps I take after that will bring blessing and joy to my parents and siblings as well.

Although we have met only for 3 weeks and it will be a long time till we meet again, I find it amazing how people can inspire and encourage one another within that short span of time. A group of people coming from different directions, we meet at the crossroads of our lives, we teach and encourage one another, and now each one of us are continuing on our journey at different directions.

I thank God for the abundance of life that He gives so freely to each one of us!

Give me life in Thy ways, O Lord!

Hola!

Long time no updates. Yes, I came back many, many days ago.

Lazy. Lazy. Lazy.

Will write more when I'm not lazy.

Want to type something now but won't. Sleepy. Sleepy or lazy?

Have to get up early tomorrow.

Going to play piano for someone's wedding. Yikes. Wedding march and recession. Gasp!

Pray that my fingers will not panic, my dear little fingers.

I saw weird things today. This is one of them.

:-)

Oh dear, I've to quickly type this. Got to sleep soon!

I knew I had lots to say the past few days and I wanted to write about so many things but it was sheer laziness that prevented me from doing so. For example I wanted to say that I realy,really like Clay Aiken. I think he's the best male singer from American Idol, far better than Blake or Phil or even Chris from this year's AI.That Ruben Studdard shouldn't have won in the first place. And he's so funny! I really laughed a lot till my tears came out when I was watching him on Youtube.

And another thing I wanted to write was about hornbills. About three years ago,I took a few photos on some hornbills that visited my housing area. Hornbills! And you thought you'd only see them in Sarawak or at a zoo. Well, I've scanned some the pictures that I took from an analog camera. Cool eh? They do occasionally fly around this area. Don't ask me why.

Next thing that I wanted to write was on Mother's Day. There's so much to say about my mother. I've learnt a lot from her although I don't really say it to her about that (I know I should). One thing which she(and my dad also) inspires me is on godliness, of how her relationship with God is clearly seen in her life and in the words that she speak. I know I'm a person of few words(hehe..), but I really appreaciate what she has done for me. Although I don't say it but I do really mean it. And I do feel bad(and guilty too) whenever I've hurt her feelings. I try not too say or do something wrong but sometimes(most of the times) it just happens suddenly and out of control. Well, I still pray and ask God to help me be a better daughter. I really do :-)

I love you!

my mother+miniature ajw

I'm in such a hurry to sleep because I'll be away for Camp Cameron from tomorrow onwards till 2nd of June. 3 weeks. 3 WEEKS! So, to all you silent and invisible readers of this blog of mine, you can make yourself known (and those whom I really DON'T KNOW who you are..hehe) by writing to me. I like surprises you know :-) You can write to me at this address but I'll be at this place only for 3 weeks.

Neriton,

Lutheran Lakeview Chalets,

31 1/2 miles,

39200 RINGLET,Cameron Highlands.

Goodbye!

Darn it. Seems like a tough decision to make. Should I go or don't go? I just finished printing everything. Should I follow my dad to PJ in approx. 5 hours and go to uni to hand them in, the reports and MSK proposal? That new fellow who approves it is so very forgetful and he has a history of misplacing all my previous proposals and even forgetting about them. It's good to hand it in earlier although we are only required to hand the proposal 2 weeks before the project, and in this case MSK is on 25th of July. It seems better to hand it in June so it won't be easily misplaced and forgotten by that fellow. Should I? Should I go?!

*Continue thinking and praying. Sigh.

*After contemplating for about 15 minutes and looking at the calender a few times, I've decided to go on the first week of June. Sigh. What a tough decision to make.

Monkeys

Oh well, with all the 'hype' and the mixture of emotions that I've went through the past week to the point where my brother called me! Until last week I didn't actually realise that quite a few 'important', 'invisible' and 'silent' people do read my blog. It's not like I want the whole world to know. It's just that I got nowhere else to rant and what I put here is less than 1% of what I actually face and feel.

Just to cheer myself up.

This is Mike the Monkey! First things first. I chose the name NOT because it's my brother's name. The name just popped up in my head as soon as I saw this fellow.Plus, the name Philip the Monkey, or Raymond the Monkey just doesn't sound nice.

You see, staying at Uni can get so dull and boring at times. There were days where I'd stare out my window and just daydream and daydream. And then suddenly, I would find myself staring at a monkey's face just a few centrimetres away.

Sometimes they would bring an inquisitive friend/brother/sister/father/long-lost-brother along which makes it more interesting. Monkeys....I'd say that they're interesting creatures. But some would certainly beg to differ. For example, those who've had a monkey(or few monkeys) making havoc in their room. Oh yeah, I've heard of some terrible and horrifying stories but until I've experience that (I hope not), I would still think that monkeys are an adorable lot.

Hehe.

Now, I've got to attend a camp committee meeting but I won't be attending the camp itself and after that I'll be staying at my sister's place at Sunway for the night. Ah, finally something different.

Today is a terrible, terrible, horrible day. Cried because of a trivial thing but it's much, much more deeper than that. I can't bear to face the after effects. Argh!

The weekend that was.

So I've started my holidays. Two months long! So fast it's my second long holidays in Uni and soon after that I'll be a third year student. Not to keen about that though. It just reminds me that things are going to different in the coming years and I have to start thinking seriously of where I'd want to teach. Actually I've been thinking about it even when I decided to take up teaching. Sabah or Selangor? One place requires a great deal of courage and not so much on the other one. Oh, well. I believe the Lord will show me where to go. Last night while reading a book, I came across a quote by William Carey, 'Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God'. And I wonder, am I only expecting great things from God and so often not attempting anything for Him?

So fast one year has passed.The past few days I remember how at about this time last year, I was groaning and moaning about the problem I was facing. And all of the sudden there is a recurrence of the emotions that I was going through at that time. But it's not so severe anymore. I've dealt with it once and for all a few months ago. It's just that sometimes as time passes by I tend to look back at what happened and what went wrong. I know it's alright to go through certain experiences including the bad ones. The thing that matters is that I go through it gracefully, knowing that God's love and faithfulness is always perfect. Again I was reminded today(hmm...quite a lot of reminders eh?..hehe) of what Jesus said, 'If you are weary and are heavy laden, come unto Me and I will give you rest'

The past few days I had the opportunity to listen to a Sarawakian Bidayuh pastor who works with the Orang Asli at Pos Iskandar, Temerloh. His wife is an Orang Asli from the Temian tribe. It was truly an eye opener for me, hearing the experiences of a man who grew up the hard way and yet chose to devote his life in serving God. Although his life is so simple without the riches of the world, yet he counts himself so blessed. God takes care of every thing even until the smallest detail. Yes, all of us have been too comfortable with our lives to the point where demandingness has become our trait. Nothing is ever enough for us.

Sometimes a coincidence is just too hard to believe in. The Sarawakian pastor was invited by my church to speak at an evangelistic meeting for the Orang Asli here in Banting. The Orang Asli here are from the Semelai and Mah-Meri tribes. So on Saturday, my mum took them to visit some families. So as they were talking and mentioning names it was found out that some of people know the Pastor's wife's relatives who are in Pahang and they were all so happy to know this. Of all places, in Banting.

Not only that. One of my church members, Peggy, is also a Bidayuh. When the pastor went to my church for worship on Sunday, Peggy recognized him. Hmm? Because both of them attended the same primary school and they lived in the same village. My dad said that when both of them found out about this, it was like two long lost lovers talking to each other. heheh...Yes, of all places, in Banting.

Well, an interesting weekend that was. I even had Jia Hui and Ai Wei come over to my house for the weekend. As usual, no where else to bring them except to the only most happening place here-Morib Beach :-)

Cannot talk.

Early this week, I was tongue tied. Again. After a long time. But why only to certain people? I have so much to say and my brains are processing my thoughts but my mouth just refuses to form them into words. And after that silent moment passes by, I get slightly frustrated and irritated with myself for not being confident enough.

Ah, the complexities of life.

Smart girl.

I left some important Genetics notes at home and had to come back home yesterday.

But it was a good 2 1/2 day stay back at B307. No interruptions of any sort except for the occasional monkey intrusion into our block.hehe..

Typing this in a jiffy....

Finished 2 papers and I'm left with 3 more. I just found out today that tomorrow's paper will be harder than I expected although it's MCQ. Great. Yes, I can do it. 3 more ONLY. I anticipate for what is going to happen after this exam. 2 months of holidays. Yay! Yup, I'm trying to comfort myself but I shouldn't be typing this. Well, I'll be going back to college tomorrow early morning at 5.30 am. All the more I shouldnt' be here. Maybe I'm a little bit stressed about tmr. I've been enjoying the comforts of home and Internet access these past few weeks. Have to go back tmr. Can't help it but have to. Oh well. Will be spending my remaining week at B 307 before I move into C 107 next sem. Yup, First it was A block, then B now it's C block.I don't quite like C block but anyway I should be thankful that I have a place.

Finally, I've been pondering about this lately,

"Oh, that we would recognize God's grace when it comes to us"

Brennan Manning

'The Ragamuffin Gospel'

Ok. Yup, I can face tomorrow and the rest of the week. Yes I can! :-)