When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you are slamming the door in the face of God-Charles L. Allen

***

Then I said to you,

"Do not be terrified or afraid of the. The LORD your God who goes before you,

He will fight for you, according to all He did for you in Egypt before your eyes.And in the wilderness where you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a man carried His son, in all the way you went until you came to this place."

"Yet,

for all that, you did not believe the Lord, your God, who went in the way before you to search out a place for you to pitch your tents, to show you the way you should go in the fire by night and in the cloud by day"

***

After 23 years of living, when will I come to full realisation that God has been faithfully providing for me ever since I was born and by His grace I can be sitting down here, breathing, being well and alive? Let's not talk about the things that I want..success, fulfilled dreams, nice things, a boyfriend, money, enjoyment...but rather the things that I need and already have..being able to think and communicate, being able to breathe and go through the whole day experiencing things that will not be the same the next day..

And so often I go through the day being bogged down by my own desires and hopes...and at the end of the day I feel so hopeless....and this whole cycle repeats the next day, and the day after...

When will I learn to accept things as it is...

As I look back, I thank God that He did not answer some of my prayers..If He did, I know I would not be the person I am today. Now I can see that what I thought was best for me at that time is actually what God thought was not best for me...at that time...and for my future...

I wish I could:
-climb a mountain, any mountain in Malaysia
-go to a cold place like Cameron Highlands, or Tambunan or Kundasang,Sabah
-go hiking
-go snorkelling
-hide

):

Pardon my English

I feel that God has been good to me today. You see, I did my assignment until 3.30am this morning (I've broken my record of staying up until this late) and was so cranky this morning because I had a class at 9.30am and I still have not finished the donky assignment. But, as I said, God is good, my class was until 10.ooam and now I have enough time to finish this donkey assignment before I go to my next class which is at 12.oo.Well, the cranky-ness is not because of staying up so late but because I had to edit and change all the lab reports of my group members. Imagine working with future science teachers who can't speak English for nuts and they can't even do their lab reports properly. How are they going to teach in schools later? Oh, and some of my group members were primary school science teachers and now they are doing a degree in UM and they can't even speak a proper sentence in English.

Okay, today was better than yesterday.

I'm actually looking forward to today's event at college. Hope I can get the attention of the Jawatankuasa Tindakan Kolej(JTK) and be offered a place to stay next year. Hah!..hehe...

Much to say now. Little to say after this. I hope not.

No more playing the fool. The second half of the semester is going to be tough and draining too. Plus the frequent emotional roller coaster rides, I'm praying that I would be able to go through gracefully. But I'm afraid....

***

Yesterday over dinner, we were talking about a particular church member whom almost the whole church dislikes. And something my mother said that is glued on my mind,

"If God were like us, all of us would not be in heaven"

Sometimes, it's so hard to forgive a person just because he/she keeps irritating others or makes a nuisance of himself/herself. And this person keeps going on and on and on. But when this person actually does something good which none of us would actually do, no one remembers him/her for that. Shame on us. We choose to help people we like. People who are clean, sane or well-to-do. What about helping the mentally ill, old or neglected people? Do we choose the people we want to love? Sometimes convenience is bad. We hate inconvenience because it might take away our time and even our own so-called reputation. What am I doing about it?

***

I hope things will turn out well. I'm still waiting...Nothing has changed.

***

I hope to make a difference in my room-mates lives. Please pray for me. It' something very new to me. No more being a silent room-mate who is only glued to her own work. Time to change before it's too late. Wake up!!

***

Chinese New Year was great and joyful. As usual 3 Chinese and the rest Indians and Chindians. Chinese includes The Mother, The Sister-In-Law and The Cousin-In-Law. Ah, time passes by so fast. Soon it will be next year again.

***

Here are some of my favourite pictures from the Ipoh trip. To see more of the Ipoh pictures, go to my facebook lah :-)

Rachel! I took the most pictures of you! Hehe.

I like this one.

Ben and Rachel

A view from Kellie's Castle

There's something about this picture that makes me like it.

omg!

Of course, there must be insects.

And a meow meow

And I'm OK! (for the time being)

Lingering thoughts...

I will not enter my house, or go to bed-

I will not allow no sleep to my eyes, no slumber to my eyelids,

till I find a place for the Lord, a dwelling for the Mighty One of Jacob

Psalm 132:3-5

*Before I lay out my own plans. Before I lay out my own dreams. Before I fill my heart with the things I love and desire. Before everything else, I will first find a place for my Lord. He is above everything else.

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you're still angry,

and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ephesians 4:26-27

*Do not give place to the devil. Not only in anger but also in succumbing to temptations. Don't give in to temptations just because your life isn't what you wanted and because your past seems to be haunting you. Don't give in because you are pretending to be someone you're not.

Much dreaming and many words are meaningless.

Therefore stand in awe of God. (But fear God. NKJV)

Ecclesiastes 5:7

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter:

Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.

Ecclesiastes 12:13

*By looking at what we are doing...or rather what I am doing, it's as if God doesn't exist. Where is God in the picture? Are we sidelining Him? And it seems to be getting worst.

I will wait.

This week, my room-mates and I have been unusually close. One of them even told me what she is facing right now, her dilemma with a guy. I even told her my own dilemma. We laughed and teased each other a lot. I gave both of them an orange (some CNY dedication thingy) with a message (quite a lengthy one). Something that I have never done before. When I was not around, Alli filled my pail with water for the night and this happened twice. I was not around when the college announced there will be no water.

Was thinking. During Fisherman's Friend the previous week, Hannah prayed for my room-mates. I think God is starting something and I should take notice of it. I should put more effort in it.

***

Am filled with a sudden wave of sadness. I don't know what's wrong with me.

***

To me, you will only remain the ideal person and not the real person. Even though you are right there in front of me. These kind of things never come true in my life.

Meow

Colourful!

I can tell you, ever since this year started, every week there will be at least one person(sometimes more) who will ask me that question.

And my answer will be a 'no'.

When will it be a 'yes'?

I wonder when.

Still wishing.

Thank You

Okay I've been so moody lately. Because of certain circumstances.

Yeah it's wrong.

I realise I'm lacking in 'thankfulness'. I seldom thank God for so many things.

For the weeks that have passed by, I thank God for...

• friends who make me smile and laugh, keep me sane, make my life more colourful.
• being able to join the college choir. I enjoyed it to a certain degree minus the hours of practices and to lose in the end. But the most important thing is being able to interact with some people. I know I've been so quiet during practices but I thank God that I was able to have short conversations with a few people.
• having a good 2nd committee meeting (I think...) last Thursday. I felt it was good. Don't know about the rest. And this reminds me of a certain incident involving 3 people...one whose face looked like a tomato during...hehe
• a good Leaders Training Retreat. I enjoyed it so much despite of the planning and work. It was different compared to the previous 2 LTRs I've attended.
• funny and weird situations. Example, a monkey walking into my room. Friends making lame and silly jokes. Lecturers making funny and weird statements.
• my family. My daddy and mummy and the rest of them. I miss my mother although she doesn't know it. 2 more weeks before comes back from Sabah.
• small surprises from different people.
• reminders from God. Reminders that were forgotton or neglected by me.
• being able to take pictures of so many things. Today I took pictures of monkeys and a water tank. Ok. Let me rephrase it. MONKEYS IN WATER TANK. (will post it up one day)
• food to eat everyday.
• a good Orang Asli Saturday School last week. They were so well behaved.
• having joy in me although circumstances around me can be so duh and bleh

Thank You, Lord!

"The JOY of the Lord is my STRENGTH!"

Hi!

Smile!!!

Oh dear. UM is like a desert. Everyday we have to scramble to look for water in college. And it's like 'Praise the Lord!' when there's water in the shower. And we have developed muscles on our arms because we have to carry pails of water up the stairs.

The irony is:

-When it rains, the taps are still dry. Not a single drop of water.

-As soon as you walk out the gates/fences of UM, there is water in the surrounding buildings.

Me and my room-mates were talking. It's just like in the kampung. You come back from class(school in the kampungs), and then you have to walk quite a distance to the ONLY pipe (perigi in the kampungs) that has water to get water. Oh, and sometimes, this pipe doesn't even have water.

And it's been like this since the semester started.

Oh good!

***

Besides that, everything is OK I guess. 4th college choir didn't even get a placing. From 2nd to 5th to nothing. Good. Very good.

And tiredness is already creeping in.

I'm de-stressing.

In a split second, this was how it looked like.

Location: C 104, Kolej Kediaman Keempat, Universiti Malaya

Date: 4th January 2008

Time: Approximately 11:03am

Human beings :

Me-Doing work

Lin-Doing work

Alli-Looking at the mirror and combing hair

Animal: 'It'(A primate)-Contempleting what to do

Distance between human being Alli and 'It': Approx 30cm

Estimated loss: One packet of Maggi mee

***
'It':

-sneaked in quietly. No noise.

-saw 3 girls. Couldn't bother.

-saw shelf. saw soap powder, Nescafe and a bag with 6 Maggi mee packets.

-contemplated.

-chose bag of Maggi mee.

-6 packets too many. One is enough.

Human being Alli:

-Was looking at the mirror.

-('It' came in.)

-Was still looking at mirror.

-('It' contemplating what to do.)

-Was still looking at mirror.

-('It' chose Maggi Mee)

-Was still looking at mirror

-Thought it was a cat.

-Turned. Screamed. ('It' almost had a heart attack.)

Human beings ajw and Lin:

-Oblivious at what was happening.

-Turned after human being Alli screamed.

-Laughed like mad after that.

It only happens in UM.

Two Thousand And Eight.

BLESSED NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I on the other hand, am really not looking forward to a new year after being so disappointed with my own unversity. I foresee next year to be a tough year for me. Really. I shudder at the thought of it.

But.

It's going to be different. Unless I think of it as a challenge and not a problem and allow myself to go through it boldly. But 20 credit hours?! And a major resposibility. And the university suddenly decides to scrape off sem khas.

I need to be calm.

I really need to trust in Him and know that He holds the future.

Editted at 6.30pm-I was sulking and sighing so my dad before leaving for the watchnight service at his church told me that God has good plans for me. Maybe I shouldn't be so anxious for the new year but to look forward with hope and anticipation.

Like father like son. No?

Mike wanted me to take a picture of Enoch with a similar pose of him when he was a baby. We wanted Enoch to look something like this:

Instead of posing like this, Enoch decided to have things HIS way:

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Knocky Knocks and Debs

Ooh, my gums are itchy!

I like the sun shining on his face

Knocky Knocks

Enoch

Drooling

Dreaming

Red cheek. Red car. Almost a clown :-)

Pretty Deborah Anne William

A happy girl she is

Knochy Knocks

More to come.

Blessed Christmas everyone!

Tagged by Jiahui who was tagged by Kokhow

Each player of this game writes about his/her Christmas wishes. People who get tagged need to visit your blog to find out more, and then write about the same topic in their blogs. Player must state the rules clearly, and pass this on by tagging the same number of people. To tag someone, leave a comment in his/her blog and tell them that they have been tagged. Number of blogger to tag: Up to you. Happy tagging.

Now, my personal wish list for Christmas.
1. To be able to put on a smile and be joyful on Christmas day.
2. A surprise from that person whose name is on my mind right now.
3. Earrings :-)
4. Michael W. Smith's and Clay Aiken's Christmas albums.
5. More money....hahahaha...
6. A very good storybook, probably The Exile by Allan Folham which I read halfway before it decided to be exiled to an unknown place. I lost this book. Mike's book by the way.
7. A very,very nice dress....hehehehe...

Yeah, yeah...my wish list is so girlish. :-)

I tag...nil people.