Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The days after...

I guess I have almost recovered from my disappointment that I faced a few days ago. I think it was one of my lowest point in life because I have never felt like that before. My emotions have been bottled up so long that it finally exploded...not obvious...but silently...I cried, and cried myself to sleep...I blamed God for all my problems and troubles that I've faced.I tried to reason why I faced such hard situations and I asked God so many questions about my life here on earth...But finally after all the 'accusations' and questions toward God, I finally found a time when I actually quietened down and listened to what God is trying to tell me.

I've been reading the book of Job these past 2 days...with the help of my Life Application Bible.(Can't really imagine reading this book without some sort of help). But God did help me understand this book and about this person, Job. Job faced such calamaties so drastic that he felt so overwhelmed and terribly sad at the same time. I don't know anyone else who actually faced the same type of situation like Job. I can't imagine how anyone can go through such tremendous pain, emotional and physical pain. Everything was practically taken away from him except his life and his wife(which is quite strange, though).

God allows us to suffer so that our faith can be tested, to know how firm our foundations in God are. If our foundations are weak I"m sure we would not be able to stand firm in times of suffering and pain.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

blah....

Life has been very hard for me especially during the last few days...Within a few seconds everything just happened so fast...Within a few seconds a stupid decision was made...drats...

Dear Lord...I started off my journey with an excited spirit...but now I'm completely broken...please mend me, O Lord...I know you will...the time will come but I do not know when....

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