Please let me go.

I really need to stop living in my dreams and stop hoping for a miracle to happen. 

Regrets.

There's no time for regrets but how can one not have the feeling of being regretful. Is it possible to be regretful for an action that was done unintentionally?

I may have unintentionally scared certain people away and this makes me feel so regretful. I should have behaved or spoke in a certain way...I might not end up the in this situation I am in today.

I may have also unintentionally scared certain boys away because of what I have in me and this makes me feel..not regretful, but sad. I understand....I mean, how many of us want to end up with someone with Lupus or Multiple Sceloris or a debilitating disease? It's a tough decision.

So how do I live everyday knowing that I may never have a family of my own or a chance to be with someone for the rest of my life? (the personification of that someone comes into my mind)

"Aloneness does not have to mean loneliness" - Josh Grogan author of 'Marley ans Me)

God is enough.

and some dogs too....

May He give me the strength to face whatever the future holds for me.

Stuck

When you like someone and that person doesn't like you back, you take such a long time to move on....because you want to be with somebody like that person. And there is a high probability that you are going to remain single forever unless you meet somebody like him/her...because deep down, you still want to be with the actual person, not a personification of him/her.

Such a sad way of living my life.

Sometimes, I give excuses to myself for feeling like this. "Oh it's because of the medicine, the raging hormones, the stress at school". Maybe those emotions are true regardless of all those external/internal influences....

Waiting.

No where to fly to....

No one to fly with.

Ceasarea and Joppa

Aqueduct built by Herod

Swimming pool!

King Herod's playground.

On the way to Joppa

Tel Aviv

Nazareth

Wow, this draft has been neglected for months! Where has time gone too? So much has happened...well, not really. Everyday has been a routine. There were little peaks of highs and a several lows. I am still breathing.

I've been reminiscing about Israel lately. I do wish I can go there the second time. No matter how much people hate this country, I think I have a soft spot for this place. I told my mum, it would be so nice to go backpacking here. One day, one day...

This is Nazareth. We were blessed with a good weather and a beautiful sky.

Church of the Annunciation

Cave believed to be Mary's home

Petra

It’s strange to know that it was actually my dream to visit Petra after watching Indiana Jones and the last Crusade. I was so small. I didn’t know Petra or Jordan existed but I really wanted to see that ‘Building’ or structure where Indiana Jones rode out from on his horse.

We reached Petra at 10pm at night after crossing the border and it was 0 degree celcius outside!. It took us about 3 hours from the Dead Sea in Israel and across the desert to reach the border before it closed at 8pm. Then we had to travel 2 hours to Petra in Jordan. There were very few vehicles on the road, and it was deserted. There are no houses and buildings on both sides. We were the only bus on the road. Imagine if the bus tyre punctured or anything happened to our bus, we then would have to wait for a passing vehicle to help us.

As we were journeying to the border, I was fortunate to see the setting sun on my side of the window and it made me reflect on a few things. The whole lonely bus-ride experience reminded me of how Moses, Abraham and maybe Jesus journeyed through this same desert. There is sand everywhere and the whole place is so dry. The weather outside is so cold and windy. How did they survive the harsh weather? I’ve always imagined Israel to be a very hot place but I am wrong.

There was this feeling of loneliness because everything seemed so quiet outside from the inside of the bus. There was no sign of any form of life outside. After the sunset, it was pitch black outside except for the stars in the sky. (It would be quite nice to camp outside and take pictures of the stars..hehe)

The following morning, we went to the archaeological site of the city of the Nabataens.

Petra Town

Old sculpture of a man.

Most of the structures here consist of tombs.

Narrow passage or 'The Siq' that leads to the city

The end of 'The Siq'.

The Treasury.

There is actually nothing inside, unlike the one shown in 'Indiana Jones'. 

There were many poor children selling postcards and knick-knacks . This boy has such the sweetest smile and voice. My heart melted..hehe

There are many pretty patterns on the sandstones caused by weathering.

Apparently King Amaziah pushed down many Edomites from one of the cliffs here. (2 Chronicles 25:11)
The cliffs don't look so high as before due to sedimentation over the years.

The real Indiana Jones

View of the old city from the new city

Petra in the evening

It was such an amazing experience. I am missing this place already...