Pain

There are times when the least expected circumstances occur in my life. Well, now I'm in that kind of situation. I thought my holidays would be a joyful one where I'd be enjoying each passing day doing something productive. I thought that there will not be any problems in my life especially during the holidays. No. I've been caught up in a series of slight depression and feeling a little bit sad sometimes. It is not clearly shown on my face but it hurts so bad inside me especially when I have nothing to keep me busy and the time that I have is used in figuring out why certain things happen. It's frustrating not knowing the answers to all the questions that keeps popping in my mind. This whole problem is revolving around one person. I don't know why Myfriend has suddenly changed. Or have I changed? I'm so confused at times of why this is happening to me. I'm so confused because I don't have the answers to why Myfriend is like that. Maybe I'm exaggerating. I really don't know. I keep on thinking back to the few times when I could have a full conversation with Myfriend face to face but now it has become almost impossible to do so. Sometimes I wish I have the courage to approach people( esp Myfriend). I have the tendency of being an introvert in front certain people and an extrovert in front of another group of people (I'm an ambivert, hah, at least I've not forgotten what I've learnt in psychology)....ahhh!....I feel like running to a beach and shouting at the wide ocean in front of me.

I'm struggling. I've been having long conversations with God. But I thank Him that I'm still sane and have not gone bonkers. I am reminded about something. My relationship with God is above all other relationshps. I will not allow the problems that I'm facing in my relationship with people to weaken my relationship with God.