Today doesn't feel like a Sunday

The feeling is so odd. I'm sitting in the library on a Sunday afternoon. I didn't go back home this weekened. I didn't go to my church and I didn't meet the people whom I always meet every week. I can't watch my favourite shows on TV. I can't chat on MSN messenger.*sigh* Maybe I'm just too spoilt. I just wonder how I'm going to cope next time when I'm posted to a school. far, far away(if that happens lar), I might not be able to come back so often.

I was so reluctant to come back to UM during our holidays but last Wednesday and Thursday I had choir practice in college. But it didn't turn out the way I thought it would be. I felt it was fun and not too stressful. I thought also I would be bored but actually I enjoyed it caused I had a lot of laughing sessions among the choir members and our irritating choir master..hehe..I thank God that although it may be stressful at times I can still enjoy the time of practicing and being with my choir members. I think I should also get to know them better because I don't know some of them.

Friday and Saturday were really, really, really, busy and (maybe stressful) days for me. I have never attended a meeting that will go on for at least 13 hours a day, what more two days in a row. PKV had its commitee planning retreat on those two days. It was not a retreat I can tell you and it's only the first part. Our second part is in March and I wonder how it will be. But to look on the positive side, I feel that it's truly an eye opener for me because it is something that I have never experienced before. I thank God that it went on well and I pray that each one of the commitee member has gained something out of it although it was just evaluating and planning. I pray that we will continue to see the needs of PKV and to know that in everything that we do, we do it for God's glory and honour.

So many things are happening in my life. I have so many feelings and emotions about certain things and issues. Sometimes I don't really know what is my true indentity. There is so much more to discover and experience in life, I sometimes feel whether I will be able to cope. But I still keep walking, I still keep moving on...

Happy Valentine's Day!...to yours truly and to those who are reading(if there is any..heheh)

Every year, I look forward to this day. Not that I expect much to happen to me(really, nothing significant has ever happen in my life on this day). It's just that I like to wish something special will happen. But then is it worth it, thinking like that? I have everything that I need. My family loves me so much and I know that my God loves me with a love that can never fail. One thing I enjoy though is reading in the newspapers about how people put in so much effort to make this a special day for their loved ones:-buying hundreds of roses that cost almost a month's salary for some people, and today in the papers it was highlighted that someone is going to receive a huge red bear which costs about RM900 something.My gosh, where on earth is she going to put it? I wonder what her reaction is when the big teddy bear is sent to her office. What will my rection be...hmm..If only he could just give me that RM900 and let me spend it freely.

It is weird, to know that amidst of all the celebration about love, there is so much more going on in this world. The world is broken. We live in a broken world where there is so much of suffering and pain. People inflicting pain on others. Why? Because everyone has different beliefs and principles of life. If you don't accept what I believe, then you must suffer the consequences. What I think is right but you may think it's wrong. People have become so self-centred and yet they are so angry most of the time.

Something that I look forward to...

'Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away..' Revelation 21:1

'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'

Revelation 21:3

If I were to compare myself to when I was 18/19 years old, I feel that I'm so different. Now I can be so moody and sometimes so melancholic..I also don't know why..probably because everything is so different and its like a transition period for me. Also I think I've become more demanding not for material things lar..but rather I want things according to my way so I ask God to do this, this and this...terrible me..

Anyway I thank God for what happened this month. Chinese New Year was a real hebat time for me. Everyone came back and the house was packed with people. We had an additional member, baby Laura with us to celebrate this time...hmm..it seems that ever year there will be a new member..God is good! :-) As usual mummy cooked her trademark dish-oyster chicken which is my favourite dish. Something unique about my family is that during our reunion dinner, there will be three Chinese(and another half Chinese half Kadazan), 5 Chindians, 3 Indian-Chinese-Kadazan, the rest are Indians ..let me see did I leave out anyone? :P it's complicated but it's truly Malaysian...we have the 3 main races in our family: Chinese, Indian and Bumiputera. Then as usual we will have some yee sang Wuey Ping will prepare it every year. It's not everyone's favourite but I like it a little..hehe..Well, overall, I had a great time. In fact more than I had during Christmas because this time everyone was at home...hmm...but let's see..If I marry a Chinese then I wont be able to come back during new year then everyone will miss me...hehe..what am I talking ..it's a long time more.

Well, I hope to be more optimistic in life. To look at the brighter side of it and not to remain in the dark side. But it's hard to say. Suddenly you are thrown into a situation which you don't really like. And then when we feel so uncomfortable, we start to complain. I think life can be interesting and colourful. It's how we choose to see it and live it. I think today is a happy day for me..thank God..I just pray that everyday will be the same :-)

My latest favourite song by Delirious?
Stronger

We're getting stronger every day
WE're getting braver in every way
Hallelujah here we come
We're getting stronger everday
Push through the waves that fall our way
Hallelujah, here we come
We're much stronger when we're one
Hallelujah here we come

Oh, I love you from the depths of my heart
And nothing here will tear us apart
Everything's beautiful with You
Everything's beautiful when you invade my life
And I'm living just to say I love you

We're getting closer everyday
Chasing the dreams that heaven gave
Hallelujah, here we come
We're getting closer every day
Into your arms I'm here to stay
We're much stronger when we're one
Hallelujah, here we come
Yes, I love You
Oh, I love You