The weekend that was.

So I've started my holidays. Two months long! So fast it's my second long holidays in Uni and soon after that I'll be a third year student. Not to keen about that though. It just reminds me that things are going to different in the coming years and I have to start thinking seriously of where I'd want to teach. Actually I've been thinking about it even when I decided to take up teaching. Sabah or Selangor? One place requires a great deal of courage and not so much on the other one. Oh, well. I believe the Lord will show me where to go. Last night while reading a book, I came across a quote by William Carey, 'Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God'. And I wonder, am I only expecting great things from God and so often not attempting anything for Him?

So fast one year has passed.The past few days I remember how at about this time last year, I was groaning and moaning about the problem I was facing. And all of the sudden there is a recurrence of the emotions that I was going through at that time. But it's not so severe anymore. I've dealt with it once and for all a few months ago. It's just that sometimes as time passes by I tend to look back at what happened and what went wrong. I know it's alright to go through certain experiences including the bad ones. The thing that matters is that I go through it gracefully, knowing that God's love and faithfulness is always perfect. Again I was reminded today(hmm...quite a lot of reminders eh?..hehe) of what Jesus said, 'If you are weary and are heavy laden, come unto Me and I will give you rest'

The past few days I had the opportunity to listen to a Sarawakian Bidayuh pastor who works with the Orang Asli at Pos Iskandar, Temerloh. His wife is an Orang Asli from the Temian tribe. It was truly an eye opener for me, hearing the experiences of a man who grew up the hard way and yet chose to devote his life in serving God. Although his life is so simple without the riches of the world, yet he counts himself so blessed. God takes care of every thing even until the smallest detail. Yes, all of us have been too comfortable with our lives to the point where demandingness has become our trait. Nothing is ever enough for us.

Sometimes a coincidence is just too hard to believe in. The Sarawakian pastor was invited by my church to speak at an evangelistic meeting for the Orang Asli here in Banting. The Orang Asli here are from the Semelai and Mah-Meri tribes. So on Saturday, my mum took them to visit some families. So as they were talking and mentioning names it was found out that some of people know the Pastor's wife's relatives who are in Pahang and they were all so happy to know this. Of all places, in Banting.

Not only that. One of my church members, Peggy, is also a Bidayuh. When the pastor went to my church for worship on Sunday, Peggy recognized him. Hmm? Because both of them attended the same primary school and they lived in the same village. My dad said that when both of them found out about this, it was like two long lost lovers talking to each other. heheh...Yes, of all places, in Banting.

Well, an interesting weekend that was. I even had Jia Hui and Ai Wei come over to my house for the weekend. As usual, no where else to bring them except to the only most happening place here-Morib Beach :-)

Cannot talk.

Early this week, I was tongue tied. Again. After a long time. But why only to certain people? I have so much to say and my brains are processing my thoughts but my mouth just refuses to form them into words. And after that silent moment passes by, I get slightly frustrated and irritated with myself for not being confident enough.

Ah, the complexities of life.

Smart girl.

I left some important Genetics notes at home and had to come back home yesterday.

But it was a good 2 1/2 day stay back at B307. No interruptions of any sort except for the occasional monkey intrusion into our block.hehe..

Typing this in a jiffy....

Finished 2 papers and I'm left with 3 more. I just found out today that tomorrow's paper will be harder than I expected although it's MCQ. Great. Yes, I can do it. 3 more ONLY. I anticipate for what is going to happen after this exam. 2 months of holidays. Yay! Yup, I'm trying to comfort myself but I shouldn't be typing this. Well, I'll be going back to college tomorrow early morning at 5.30 am. All the more I shouldnt' be here. Maybe I'm a little bit stressed about tmr. I've been enjoying the comforts of home and Internet access these past few weeks. Have to go back tmr. Can't help it but have to. Oh well. Will be spending my remaining week at B 307 before I move into C 107 next sem. Yup, First it was A block, then B now it's C block.I don't quite like C block but anyway I should be thankful that I have a place.

Finally, I've been pondering about this lately,

"Oh, that we would recognize God's grace when it comes to us"

Brennan Manning

'The Ragamuffin Gospel'

Ok. Yup, I can face tomorrow and the rest of the week. Yes I can! :-)

Aiyoh. Why is it so hard to remember all the computer jargon? I only have one more day to study for my Komputer Untuk Pendidkan. It's a good thing that this will be(hopefully) my first and last time learning this donkey subject. Haih. Somemore have to remember the computer acronyms. 20 questions on that. When I read some acronyms, other names or meanings come into my mind. I have to re-tune my brains to remember them otherwise. Sigh.

ISA(Industry Standard Architecture)-Internal Security Act
FAT(File Allocation Table)-Gemuk
POTS(Plain Old Telephone System..whoever came up with this)-There will be a POTs conference by FES in October for teachers,lawyers and doctors.
NT(New Technology)-New Testament
POST(Power On Self Test)-The word post office straight away comes into my mind.

Sigh. The song that I'm listening to suddenly seems to be faster than normal. This shows that it's time to sleep now. Brains are going bonkers. Hehe..

Exams are not fun. I can't wait to be a teacher.

Can't wait for exams to be over. As usual.

Mikrobiologi Am-18/4-11.30am
Komputer Untuk Pendidikan-21/4-8.30am
Pencemaran Alam Sekitar-23/4-8.30am
Genetik Asas-25/4-8.30am
Genetik Molekul-28/4-8.30am

This is the nicest exam time-table I have compared to the previous 3 semesters. Last year there was one day where I had to sit for 3 papers and it was a real torture.

Sigh.

So sleepy.

And it's so early.

Always be watchful. Always be prayerful. Always be conscious of God's presence.

Bleh.

I have become good friends with Wikipedia. I don't think I will survive my 'Computer untuk Pendidikan' exam if it's not for Wikipedia.Oh, wait. Who knows if I'll ever survive the exam or not. Stupid abbreviations like 'BIOS', SCSI', 'PCI' are making me sick. Donkeyhead people who invented these words. They could have made it easier for poor people like me to remember. I'm so frustrated. I'm a Biology student not an IT student. Donkeyhead people who suggested this subject to be taken by a poor student like me. As if it will benefit me once I become a Biology teacher.

Simply.

Eyes are half closed or half opened. It's so comforting to hear the rustling of the coconut tree leaves outside my window and at the same time feel the cool breeze touching my face. I decided to stop studying. Couldn't take it anymore for today. Was reading 'The Ragamuffin Gospel' by Brennan Manning. Good book. Eyes cannot take it anymore. Good Night.

Feeling old

This afternoon while lazying on the bed together with the feeling of I'm-so-lonely-and-bored, it suddenly dawned to me I will not be seeing a few people anymore. They have been part of my life in UM for the past two years. We had many(or a few) conversations, laughed together or done things together and now I won't be doing that with them anymore once they graduate. And as the months go by, more people would also leave. Suddenly, I'm overwhelmed by the fact that I'm already half way through in uni, and the time for saying goodbyes has come. Well, it's not that I won't be seeing them again, but things will be not be the same anymore. But one thing that will still remain, is the fact that although we have crossed paths these 2 years(and later 3-4 years), I have been truly blessed through the many lessons that I have learnt from them. It's time to move on. There is a time for everything. A time to say 'Hi' and Goodbye'. A time to meet new people and be impacted by them. A time to remember all that has happened in my life and be grateful as well as thankful.

Two more years to go as an undergraduate. So much more to learn and experience. What has the Lord in store for me? I don't know but my life is in His hands.

Just now I started listening to one song by Phillips, Craig and Dean and I couldn't stop listening. Well, at first the music of the song caught my attention and then I realised how meaningful the lyrics are (this goes to all the other songs that I listen, the music catches my attention first and then only the lyrics...hehe).

When God Ran

Verse 1:

Almighty God, The Great I Am, Immovable Rock,

Omnipotent, Powerful,

Awesome Lord.

Victorious Warrior, Commanding King of Kings,Mighty Conqueror

and the only time,

The only time I ever saw him run,

Was when...

Chorus:

He ran to me,

He took me in His arms,

Held my head to His chest,

Said "My son's come home again!"

Lifted my face, Wiped the tears from my eyes,

With forgiveness in His voice He said

"Son, do you know I still love You?"

(End Chorus)

He caught me By surprise, When God ran...

Verse 2:

The day I left home,I knew I'd broken His heart.

And I wondered then, if things could ever be the same.

Then one night,I remembered His love for me.

And down that dusty road, ahead I could see,

It was the only time,

It was the only time I ever saw Him run.

And then...

He caught me by surprise.And He brought me to my knees.

When God ran... I saw Him run to me.

Bridge:

I was so ashamed, all alone, and so far away.

But now I know, that He's been waiting for this day...

I saw Him run to me,

He took me in His arms,

Held my head to his chest,

Said "My son's come home again!"

Lifted my face,

Wiped the tears from my eyes,

With forgiveness in His voice I felt his love for me again.

He ran to me,He took me in His arms,

Held my head to his chest,

Said "My son's come home again!"

Lifted my face,

Wiped the tears from my eyes,

With forgiveness in His voice He said

"Son"He called me Son.

He said "Son, do you know I still love You?"

He ran to me(When God Ran)

(I saw Him run to me)

And then I ran to Him

(When God ran)

When God ran

Beneath The Cross

Beneath the cross of Jesus
I fain would take my stand
The shadow of a mighty rock
Within a weary land.
A home within the wilderness,
A rest upon the way,
From the burning of the noontide heat,
And the burden of the day.

Upon that cross of Jesus
Mine eyes at times can see
The very dying form of One
Who suffered there for me.
And from my stricken
heart with tears,
Two wonders I confess,
The wonders of redeeming love
And my unworthiness.

Beneath the cross I tremble,
So chastened by His pain for the blood He shed,
For all my sins has purified the stain.
From the darkness,
Mercy's light breaks forth across the sky.
I rise to stand before His cross and lift my hands and cry.

I gladly take, O cross, thy shadow
For my abiding place.
I ask no other sunshine than
The sunshine of His face.
Content to let the world go by,
To know no gain nor loss.
My sinful self my only shame,
My glory all the cross.

By Elizabeth C Clephane. Additional verse

by Deborah Craig-Claar

Pondering

There are some thoughts lingering in my mind and these thoughts cause an uneasiness in me. There are some things that are not supposed to hurt me. I feel that it's childish to feel hurt over these little things. No, they are not supposed to hurt me. Sometimes the mind tells a lot of things, and sometimes these thoughts can be so deceiving. But, as for now, I put away these meaningless thoughts and not allow them to influence my future thoughts and actions. It's worthless, these meaningless and deceiving thoughts.

I pray that my thoughts will be like His. To have His mind.

1st Corinthians 2:16

Oh dear. Tomorrow is my EXAM and here I am typing this sentence.

Donkeyhead. There's so much to read.

One test and one exam this week.

Interesting

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

I don't need to use high levels of cognitive thinking skills to tell me to study 'Cognition in Science Education'. It's pure logic-I must start studying. Exam is on this Friday. Adelene, go and study! :-(

Love

This unconditional and unlimited love is what the evangelist John calls God's first love. " Let us love," he says, "because God loved us first" (1 John 4:19).

The love that often leaves us doubtful, frustrated, angry, and resentful is the second love, that is to say, the affirmation, affection, sympathy, encouragement and support that we receive from our parents, teachers, spouses and friends. We all know how limited, broken and very fragile that love is.

"You are loved. There is no reason to be afraid. In love God created your inmost self and knit you together in your mother's womb" (Psalm 139:13)

Taken from 'In the name of Jesus:Reflections on Christian Leadership

by Henri J. M. Nouwen