Bingo!

Today, ajw got up at noon and is feeling very guilty and she did not go back to college and she skipped choir and is feeling even more guilty.Oops...

Will blog on THE camp after I have come back from uni on Friday. Hopefully..

Job

Ande he prayed this..
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord"

And Job did not sin or do wrong against God

"I know that You can do everything and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You"

What a timely reminder in hard and weird times like these.

When God gently reminds me to keep on waiting. Be patient.

Ah, this picture makes me smile! Polar bears do fascinate me a lot. Look at its *bum,bum* sticking out! How cute is that! :-) Got this from drudgereport.com

The Lord's Prayer

Someone once said...

I cannot say 'our' if I live only for myself.

I cannot say 'Father' if I do not act like His child.

I cannot say 'who art in heaven' if I'm laying up no treasure there.

I cannot say 'hallowed be Thy name' if I am not striving for holiness.

I cannot say 'Thy kingdom come' if I am not doing all in my power to hasten that event.

I cannot say 'give us this day out daily bread' if I am dishonest, or seeking something for nothing.

I cannot say 'forgive us our trespasses' if I bear a grudge against another.

I cannot say 'lead us not into temptation' if I delibrately place myself in its path.

I cannot say 'deliver is from evil' if I do not put on the armour of God.

I cannot say 'thine is the kingdom the power and glory' if I do not give the King the loyalty due to Him from a faithful subject.

And I cannot say 'forever' if the horizon of my life is bounded completely by time.

Having that wierd feeling inside me now.

Can't wait for it to come to pass.

It has left me feeling flabbergasted. Wondering aimlessly. Wandering aimlessly.

You are rejected!

Someone once told me that he's afraid of rejection. At that time of being told that, I felt that I could handle rejection. I mean, bring it on! How bad could it be right? And then today I was thinking. I realised and remembered that I too, to a certain extend am afraid of it. It caused me a whole year of frustration. How could I forget that year? Well, it's a good thing that I got over it and have moved on. Recurrence still happens but it is not so bad as before. But I am still afraid of being rejected. It's hard to even grapple with it.

The 20's phase is a hard phase to be in. With so many people being on the same boat as I'm in doesn't really help a lot. As I get older, the fear of rejection is greater although nothing has started yet. If you get what I mean, you would know what I'm really trying to say here. Oh well, I will still wait...if it means waiting a gazillion years. If it's worth the wait.

I will wait upon my Lord....

I have absolutely no mood to study for my last paper on Tuesday-Prinsip dan Teknologi Pengajaran.

Fantastic.

Fabulous.

Absolutely fabulous.

Sweet.

Just came back from my Indian friends' houses for Deepavali. It's so good to meet them after a long, long time and to just catch up with what has been happening. More of the gossiping type...hehe...

'Oh, how is she? What?! She got married to a New Zealander and she's staying there now?'

'Yeah, that we already know long ago. She got pregnant.....'

'hmm...he married a girl who stayed near his house'

...and the usual hook up and break up stories.

'So, what's your secret ah, ajw? What?! Still got no boyfriend ar? Nevermind, I send in my application and see how....'

Much has changed between us but there are some parts of us that remain the same. And I'm glad that these group of people whom I met still remain the same old friends and people I knew back then in secondary school. I will never forget them...

The past.

What an emotional roller coster it has been for the past two weeks.

I'm going to get a new camera! I did not expect them to agree on this. The second brother and my parents told me that I can use that money to buy a good camera. I thought it was for my fees, and they said the first brother will pay for it. Oh, and the elder sister doesn't know anything about this. It's so nice being the fourth child. Aah, family business. :-)

Well, recently...or precisely last week before exams, I took out my RBS '03 journal to read for fun. I keep it close to me because I occasionally read it to remember those days. Yeah, I'll never forget the one month up there at HCC. And as I read, I laughed at the things I wrote. Silly ones. Weird ones. Serious ones. Sad ones. Frustating ones. But it was good. My heart felt one kind..you know..that different kind of feeling you have when you'd read a journal that was written few years ago. It was nice.

29 December 2003

...'I thank you Lord for giving me parents who care for me. Especially Daddy who really encouraged me to join RBS. Thank you for opening this door for me to draw closer to you...'

...'I thank you Lord for reminding me that faith in you really works....'

2 January 2004

...'Be still and know that You are God. Sometimes I think and worry too much about life that I fail to be silent and think of You...'

10 January 2004

...'Firstly, our thanks goes to the 'penjaga' who was standing near Maybank. He told Puay En that a Mat Salleh (I presume it must be Colin) put a note behind the advertisement board..hehe'

12 January 2004

...'When we came down from the bus when we reached 6th mile Orang Asli village, we were all on the look out for chickens. Poor Puay En, she has this phobia for chickens...'

15 January 2004

...'I think not of of relatives who have passed away but I think of my friends who are very close to me now. I think about this particular friend who still has yet to know about the truth. His faith is really blinding him. I try to tell but the right words just doesn't come out...'

16 January 2004

...'We are called to to love those who are different, difficult and challenging. We don't get to pick and choose...'

...'Yeah Lord, love is so easy to talk about but it's hard to accomplish. Always we tend to love each other 'because' or 'when' rather than 'in spite of'. God loves us in spite of ourselves, our past, our mistakes and our failures....'

Those were some of the many things that were written. And then I look at the last page of my journal and saw something that was written by a budak who was my mission team mate (*cough, Chris Koh, cough*)

"Neway, i rEaLLY hope I didn't kacau u until i make u angRy...soRilloR"

Well, these are the things I will always remember. I still see some of them occasionally, especially the super tall UM law student, itu budak who is studying at USM and a sweet girl whom I sometimes meet at PJGH and recently we met at POTS. :-)