The past.

What an emotional roller coster it has been for the past two weeks.

I'm going to get a new camera! I did not expect them to agree on this. The second brother and my parents told me that I can use that money to buy a good camera. I thought it was for my fees, and they said the first brother will pay for it. Oh, and the elder sister doesn't know anything about this. It's so nice being the fourth child. Aah, family business. :-)

Well, recently...or precisely last week before exams, I took out my RBS '03 journal to read for fun. I keep it close to me because I occasionally read it to remember those days. Yeah, I'll never forget the one month up there at HCC. And as I read, I laughed at the things I wrote. Silly ones. Weird ones. Serious ones. Sad ones. Frustating ones. But it was good. My heart felt one kind..you know..that different kind of feeling you have when you'd read a journal that was written few years ago. It was nice.

29 December 2003

...'I thank you Lord for giving me parents who care for me. Especially Daddy who really encouraged me to join RBS. Thank you for opening this door for me to draw closer to you...'

...'I thank you Lord for reminding me that faith in you really works....'

2 January 2004

...'Be still and know that You are God. Sometimes I think and worry too much about life that I fail to be silent and think of You...'

10 January 2004

...'Firstly, our thanks goes to the 'penjaga' who was standing near Maybank. He told Puay En that a Mat Salleh (I presume it must be Colin) put a note behind the advertisement board..hehe'

12 January 2004

...'When we came down from the bus when we reached 6th mile Orang Asli village, we were all on the look out for chickens. Poor Puay En, she has this phobia for chickens...'

15 January 2004

...'I think not of of relatives who have passed away but I think of my friends who are very close to me now. I think about this particular friend who still has yet to know about the truth. His faith is really blinding him. I try to tell but the right words just doesn't come out...'

16 January 2004

...'We are called to to love those who are different, difficult and challenging. We don't get to pick and choose...'

...'Yeah Lord, love is so easy to talk about but it's hard to accomplish. Always we tend to love each other 'because' or 'when' rather than 'in spite of'. God loves us in spite of ourselves, our past, our mistakes and our failures....'

Those were some of the many things that were written. And then I look at the last page of my journal and saw something that was written by a budak who was my mission team mate (*cough, Chris Koh, cough*)

"Neway, i rEaLLY hope I didn't kacau u until i make u angRy...soRilloR"

Well, these are the things I will always remember. I still see some of them occasionally, especially the super tall UM law student, itu budak who is studying at USM and a sweet girl whom I sometimes meet at PJGH and recently we met at POTS. :-)