Half closed eyes...

I will not gaze at my circumstances and glance at You. Instead I will gaze at You and glance at my circumstances.

Troubled times, yet I will continue singing for my Lord!

***

Wondering:Why roomie always plays music till the wee hours of the morning like 3am although she knows her roomie is sleeping? Sighs. So sleepy now. That's why I yearn for a good sleep when I go back home.

It almost sounds like Greek to you.

Oh how troubled am I. It's not big a deal but it's enough to make me into a confused and disoriented person. I' ve told you and only you about something. Yes, you know what I'm saying here. And now I don't know where I'm heading to. Recent circumstances hasn't been so good. Makes me even more frustrated because things are going out of my control. Ah, the word 'confused' has come back. It was missing for a year now, and now it's back.

I want to say out loud the thoughts inside me. Nope. Cannot. Only my God knows. Don't ask me.

Then why bother writing this cryptic post right?

It's really not so big a deal.

Remembering Camp Cam

7 km walk to Boh Tea plantation
Jason, my escort.hehe.

When things are looking down Lord, help me to look up to You!

Nonsence Words

2 weeks ago. We(me, SL and JH) were quite tickled with some funny words we found in Reader's Diegest-codswallop, brouhaha and ballyhoo. That's why, we now occasionally use these words in our conversations. hehe. So, during my attempt to find some more funny words (yeah, I'm very free today), I came across a funny poem with funny words in it. Some people have nothing else better to do than to invent silly and 'nonsence' words.

OK. Now, follow me and read this peom aloud!

Jabberwocky

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

You can get the meaning of some of the words here

Ah, enough of nonsence today.

Hehe.

Last week, me, JH and SL went to our Ethics lecture and we faced that mean substitute lecturer. We had to combine with her class because our own lecturer was away. It was a dreadful experience I can tell you. You'd wonder how did UM appoint her as a lecturer in the first place. And of all lecturers, they had to choose a really un-ethical lecturer to teach us Teaching Ethics. It's so hard to respect this kind of person. Once she even mentioned a few racist remarks that caused a few students to leave the lecture hall. I too was a bit angry when she said it.

So while she was babbling codswallop in front, the 3 of us had our own private conversation.

Some artsy-fartsy stuff we did. My drawings. JH's colourings. SL provided the coloured pens. You know, the lecturer was using a Pendidikan Moral book to teach us!Aiyoyoh....

The only good thing that the lecturer did to the 3 of us was 'inspiring' us to order McD's after class. At one point she was talking about food(yeah, what has food got to do with ethics?) and so it was decided that SL shall dial 1300-13-1300 outside the lecture hall and order for the 3 of us. It was to be delivered to the Faculty of Education, UM. And so after class, we waited for 45 mins and I tell you, seeing the red McD's man on the motorbike was such a joy!

Me talking to Me.

Spent my 2 days at home shaking my legs, and letting time while away. Plus the weather which is cloudy-rain-cloudy-rain helped me sleep like a log which I've not done so for a long,long time. Ya rite.

Had that 'wondering' session with my self just now. When I look at some people whose lives seem to be so colourful, I tend to envy them a bit. They get to go to so many places and experience new things every month. And here I am stuck in one place the whole year and most of the time I am just going through the motions. So while I was in a state of discontentment, I had a super short conversation with myself

DissatisfiedAJW:

Why lar am I stuck here. Look at them, get to go here, go there, got lots of money. Somemore spend money like nobody's business. Life is so blissful. So colourful.

SatisfiedAJW:

Why are you complaining? What's the point of envying others? Be contented with what you have and live the life God has given you. You can't get everything you want you know. What do you mean by blissful and colourful? Isn't yours like that also?

DissatisfiedAJW:

Yes, of course I envy them! Why? Cannot ah? I am complaining because...errr...I feel like it. Suddenly I'm wondering why some things are just not fair. Y'know, some things don't happen to me but happen to them.

SatisfiedAJW:

Ah, you complainer. That's what Mum always calls you. When are you going to change? Why is there a need to complain? You have all the essential stuff. There wasn't a time when you didn't have money to buy the important things that you need. Be contented with what you have! So you measure your happiness by the things you have, is it? Don't! Ei brat, don't always complain and whine lar. Be thankful and grateful for what God has given you! And it's not good to envy others, y'know.

DissatisfiedAJW:

Ya....you got me this time.

***

Yup, I didn't have anything else better to do than to talk to myself. Sometimes I need to knock my own head and correct a few things in me.

On your mark, get set...GO!

Whee~Breezing through. I have a few minutes to warm up this chair before I go for my next class.

I'm always in a hurry to use the computer in the Science Computer Lab and I ain't got time to blog as much as I want. But to tell you, I thank God for the past few days because I've been quite happy for no apparent reason. It's so unusual of me. But to know that my joy comes from my Lord makes me have the courage to live each day!

Sidetrack:I can't stand the codswallop overflowing from my Teaching Ethics lecturer. What a donkey she is. Really. And now I probably have to see her again because she is substituting my actual Teaching Ethics lecturer who is away.

Codswallop=nonsence

Home sick. Missing my family. Feeling satisfied. Feeling happy. Had a great time during the Leaders' Retreat. The book 'The Exile' has exiled somewhere. It's lost and I'm so dead.Gosh!

Will write more when I feel like it.

Just wondering who you are? Yes, YOU!

I miss my Panda. My dog.

What's happening...

• From A to B then now to C. Room is on C floor, the lowest floor. Now, I don't waste time and energy climbing up the stairs, walking to the makan hall, walking to the grocery stall downstairs. Everything is super near.
• I miss the monkeys. The only 'monkeys' I see outside my window are the ones who can talk and drive. So not interesting.
• I want July to pass by quickly. So many things to do.
• I'm a bit disappointed with myself when it comes to handling people and taking up responsibilities. It's a problem I face at the moment.
• Calculus 2. Oh dear....
• I have nice roomates. I made a commitment during Camp Cameron to be close to my roomates and choir mates by taking time to know them better and not always isolating myself.
• I want to do well in my subjects.
• So fast I'm a 3rd year student. Everything is moving so fast.
• I want to make right decisions that are good. Again I'm reminding myself this.
• To always remind myself that God preserves my life, and He always watches my coming in and my going out.
• Can't wait for The Mum to come back home from Australia. One more month to go.

Upside Down

Sigh.Classes will start in less than 12 hours time. Haven't slept yet. Tomorrow I'm going to suffer. Not enough sleep. Went to uni today. Put my things into my new room. Came home. Just now I was so frustrated with Microsoft Office. Head so blur. Everything so blur. I lost something and it's not mine. Ahhh!! Silly hands went and put it somewhere. Checked every inch of the house. Couldn't find it. Sigh!!!! My mind is topsy turvy.

Things will be better tomorrow. I hope so.

Good Night..or rather Good Morning.

Be kind!

Put on a smile and they'll be kind to you!

It's so nice to meet kind people especially when you really need them to do something for you.

Today I went to UM to send in a letter for approval of our MSK posters and handbills. Kind person number 1-En Hashim. He's always been so helpful to me dor the past 6 months. Today he told me that he's a bit fed up with En. Ambi, the fellow who approves all our meetings and projects. Fed up because En. Ambi simply scolded him for no reason. All En Ambi needs to do is say yes or no to the projects, he needn't have to be so nasty and simply scold people.

Then, I went to Econs Fac to hand in the letter for the venue. Kind person number 2-The Clerk. Well, although I didn't expect to hear the dreadful news from her, but at least she told it to me in a kind manner. We are not allowed to use the hall for MSK because apparently they have converted it into a temporary lecture hall. What nonsense. Anyway, her kindness did help me ease my nerves...a bit...a wee bit..good thing she didn't give that nasty and strern look at me which I really dislike the most. I had to think of another alternative to where we can have MSK in 3 weeks time. Then I went to Akademi Pengajian Melayu and there I met my final and most 'kindest' person.

Kind person number 3-Kak Mas. I've never been to APM before and going there today did make me feel a little nervous. Thank goodness my friend was with me and she had a car. If not, I had to walk all the way up that hill to get there. At the office I saw a Malay guy and inquired about their hall, whether it was available or not. Then he called for Kak Mas to come. She's so nice and...kind... and was willing to check the dates for me. Ah, I felt a wave of relieve when she told me that the hall was available. She even offered to take us to the hall and have a look at it.

People-you can either hate them or like them. But today I really appreciate the kindness of people, what more a stranger to me.

So, put on a smile, and they will be kind to you!

(of course there are the nasty and hard headed people who don't give a care whether you smile or not. Well, all I can say is, bother them!)

Busy. Busy. Busy. I can't wait for the month of July to be over. But who knows, I might be busier after July. Oh well, tomorrow will worry for itself. Next month will worry for itself. Live by the day! The weekend was quite an uncomfortable one. With many things on my mind, many things to do and the super hot weather have caused me to be a little bit nasty to my sister when she came down for the weekend. Sigh. Things happen so fast that you don't have time to think straight and rationally.

I thank God for helping me go through yesterday and today. I thank Him for the smooth flow of the Orang Asli Sunday School. I'm so happy that the children were attentive to what I was teaching and one of them were even helpful in carrying my things. And as they smiled and waved goodbye to me, it makes me want to do more for them. I know somewhere in their heart of hearts, they are seaching for truth and peace that they can find nowhere in this world, except in God.

A 'Sighing' Girl. Yes, this is the new name I give myself for the week because I've been sighing all the time. Sighing to myself. Sighing to God. It's very bad, I know. But I will try not to sigh a lot and will trust in God. Ok. I will do it instead of trying.

But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop. Luke 8:15

I was sharing to my CG yesterday on the parable of the Sower and it reminded me about myself, how I treat God's word. Yeah, I often read and I hear but I've not been really retaining it in my life and what more persevering to produce a crop. Oh well, this is something that I need to improve on.

***

One more week of holidays. Hope I can enjoy it to the fullest before Uni starts. What am I going to do this week, besides CF stuff?...hmmmm..