Sunday Worship

Went to church today. When I'm not spiritually sound or when I was not being faithful to God or I've not been feeding on His Word daily, I find it hard to worship God every Sunday. It's like I'm a hypocrite. Praising God but I'm not doing it in Spirit and in Truth. Telling others to trust in God but I myself am not faithful to Him. Teaching the Sunday School kids that Jesus loves them but I myself am in doubts. Well, that is how I feel at times. I guess those things happen when I'm not close to God. I do not have an intimate relationship with him. God want's me to draw close to Him and He will draw close to me.It is important for Christians to prepare themselves for the whole week before going to church on Sunday. I remember Daddy saying that during his sermon. We can't worship God with an unprepared heart. Maybe when life gets too easy, I tend to live life my own way and shut God away from all my activites. I am too comfortable because I've yet to face any trials. When trials and problems appear suddenly, that's when I start asking God for help. God must be feeling so sad because He created us and we end up betraying Him. This morning, I realise that God wants us to have child-like faith and come closer to Him. As we get older, we seem to have so many questions that lead us to so many doubts. As I get older, I tend to question God a lot and the 'problem' is He doesn't give me all the answers. Sounds so frustrating, right? But the truth is He wants me to mature and to keep growing. He wants us Christians to continue running the race with Christ at the end of the race. He doesn't give us the answers because He wants us to trust Him and to draw closer to Him. I want to draw closer to God and to study His word. I've to admit, sometimes after reading the Bible I would not meditate on the words or sometimes I'll be too sleepy and I won't know what I'm reading. It is so wrong. I just read a fellow Christian's blog, who is a Malaysian but I have absolutey no idea who he is. He gave a simple yet meaningful illustration which I really understood. Indeed, it's no use if we read the Bible from front to back just to be content with ourselves, without knowing the real 'scenery' and 'beauty' of each book really brings. I thank God that this Christian chap has made me realise the value of the Bible. It is inspired by God. God wants us to have the utmost desire to know Him better.


~sigh~Something is on my mind. Looking back at those times. It's hard to accept the fact that I might not have the chance to meet him..again..He is so different from others, someone who has a heart after God. Maybe I'll meet him again, I do not know. But one thing, I'm glad that he has dedicated His life to the Lord and he is serving well in his church and his yf. I've been so immature these past few years. I didn't know the true meaning of love although I thought I knew. But I was wrong. Everything happened too fast and I was not given enough space. But I thank God that He made me realise the truth-It's Not The Right Time.
He has someone else better for me. I'm waiting. I really hope that he will be like that person, or maybe he himself. Let God decide what's best..for me..and..for him..